Almost an entire year has past since we ushered in a new era of Capitalized Nouns. Let's take a moment to reflect on all of the niceties this brave world has brought us. Urban Dictionary entries are at an all time high, which is not surprising since test scores are continually plummeting. This indicates a few important mainstays about our so called culture. Just about every moron has taken the time to submit a word or two; a testament to our individualist need to be heard amid the tumult of cyber space whining. This proves once again where higher education really takes a person these days ... to the convenient store for nutritional and hygienic upkeeping. All night coffee binges / net surfing marathons are the natural result. where the first place winner gets multiple types of arthritis, excess fatty tissue where none existed previously, a significantly reduced attention span to anything that does not flicker or make cute noises, and of course a morbid appreciation for everything grotesque and shocking. Consumption. The era of Capitalized Nouns symbolizes the extent to which our culture has failed. Since every facet of our society can be packaged according to its usefulness in the wasting of time, culture no longer has any significant meaning for us except to the extent it allows the uneducated to facilitate the deluded reasoning behind their stolen identities. For instance people who claim to be Buddhist after attending their first yoga lesson. Culture can no longer offer us any values from which we may benefit from because it was appropriated with the expectation that money could be squeezed from it. And it has been. In fact most cultural iconography now can be purchased right from the comfort of your own home. And even the satisfaction one gets when they finally obtain that needed piece of symbolism is short lived because the machine dictates the standards of the day. Why bother clinging to tradition when wearing the rosary will be out of style in a year's time? Culture is dead. It has been poached, skinned, ground, boxed, shipped and sold because we are too shallow to come up with our own values. The era of Capitalized Nowns celebrates this failure by assuming that all nouns, since they are as precious and unique as the half-wit individuals who molest them, should be characterized by the capitalizing of the first letter. The first letter is the leader letter. It is bold and uncompromising; it stands erect and proud. This first letter says to the world 'Hey! look at me! I'm a frickin' noun with feelings and standards all my own! Aren't I great?!" And when used in conjunction with other self-important words the result is nothing less than the complete abatement of common sense (a fad that has grown passé over the years). We've marginalized cultural insights for the delicious jelly that is squeezed from it, and then we've thrown away the peel just as it was beginning to ripen. Too late. Another day another dogma. Contact between the different aspects of various widespread and sometimes archaic cultures has frayed the edges of liminality meaning the cores are all that remains, and they end up processed, evaluated, and categorized into neat packages ready for consumption like a meal in a pill. This Categorization has been our folly, our answer to a question no one asked. It has lulled us into believing that culture can be identified simply. That it can be summed in few words with as long as they have the all might capitalized first letter. This is fallacious since culture strives on definition without which it is nothing but a set of guidelines with no history, rhyme or reason. Part of the blame for this goes to Francis Bacon and his Big-Brained Buddies. The tenants of Science - that is to say the scientific method - has committed manslaughter upon culture because it attempted to demystify the myths; Myths that once defined people. With the myths buried beneath so much academic drivel, culture without definition was up for grabs. The children of tomorrow who have little to look forward to except a life of meaningless consumption and eventual demise at the hands of their forefathers' ideas on 'values,' will eat it up ... and spit it out when the taste has flown from it. This is a special day; A day of remembrance and commemoration. The day we celebrate the loss of our identity and the death of culture. This is the era of Capitalized Nouns.
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